Have not been tumblering for awhile haha. Well off to bed now night bloggers :))
It’s been 3 years plus we’ve been together, soo much rumbles and falls that I can’t pinpoint which that hurt me most but i guess I know what is it now. I’ve been there for you when everyone starts to turn thier backs at you, I soaked everything in when I stood in front of you not knowing I hurt you intentionally while you are shouting across my face. I remembered when you came down running at me under ur blk while your dad chased you caused both of u had a big fight. Ur dad was worried and still remembered everything he said in most particularly “Cik, tk kasi dier pakai krete mlm2 sbb tknkkan dier but perkare tk snonoh” :) I was there, and than you shocked me to life when you fell really ill and we brought you to the hospital. I came everyday to visit you and scrub the onions around ur whole body, it’s burning my hand but eventually it made you feel better. U called on the 3’rd day mad at me with your sick voice caused I was busy helping mum at work and decided not to meet you, eventually I came after that and it was rlly worth it seeing you rlly ill but smiling. 1 month before our Bangkok trip I saw a picture of you outside a club and I was furious, I thought that I had enough of your lies when I realized that how can I move forward on life without you around, so I gave in and accept the reality and than your sis running to me telling me what really happened after the chalet when your dad saw you and someone in the car. He called and eventually teared and i can hear his shaky voice it tore me apart. We met that night and I was abt to leave you again but I stayed. You cried and I did not even shed a tear at woodlands Al-Ameen cause Im so immuned to it. All i could think of was your parents to the extend your dad called and told me to walk away but i did not. Since the beginning of this relationships theres been soo many situations that I could not handle even before, I remembered when you showed me a text outside your workplace at Sembawang from your ex. I stayed infact I met her and tell her off. I must be the strongest person alive. On late last December I remembered you texted me saying you wanted a time off and that you wanted freedom. I knew I was about to loose you I cried asking you to stay and that I make every possible reason for you to let me love you again. You was about to leave me of something I was protecting you from and that is gg to clubs and having contactin many girls.Than it came when it rlly shatters my heart. I shall nvr forget 5 May 2012 when I saw what I should not have. After ur friends texted me the text I was talking to myself that I had enough and Im done All i want is you treating me right, I want to be your only one like how you are to me. I dont have anything to offer but I can offer you sincerity and honesty. I stayed even when I could not handle the worse situations and for you to walk away when I could tolerate you for long is just very very unfair isn’t it?I’m always there for you and I think right now you shld be there for me. I love you and you were once my bestfriend. I’m gonna tell my kids on how I fell in love with a guy and he was once I wanted to spend my life with. We are different my love from others, I don’t know what I call it but its definitly more than love. If you could see how much you means to me and how terrible I’m feeling right now all because I love you dearly much. You were soo perfect to me to the extend that I would not let anyone have you, you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. Everyone loves you even my parents have no problems abt you being with me Im sorry that I could not lift up to your expectation baby, How I wish I was what you wanted cause all I’ve ever done was fighting for you. Sincerely Fazlin :(
